Posted on October 24, 2012 by David Berkowitz, Editor in Chief.

Moms With Disabled Children Struggle To Climb The Career Ladder When Children Are Older An FYI For Employers And Society At Large

: Moms With Disabled Children Struggle To Climb The Career Ladder When Children Are Older An FYI For Employers And Society At Large

It is my privilege to be featuring an article by Mari Nosal this week. She has great insight into the lives of parents and educators of special needs children–>
I have just come back from my umpteenth interview. I have a dream of working in the non profit arena in a community based program helping to empower parents and children to live the most fulfilling life possible. As many of my readers know I have a young adult son with Aspergers and ADD and spent many years fighting for his proper diagnosis ,intervention, and support. Many people with older children on the spectrum recall that Aspergers was not a household word a decade ago. Many supports and better identification techniques abound in the present that were not available when my son was young.

My older son developed a seizure disorder at age 11 which stabilized at age 18 all though is still medication controlled at age 26. The neurologist calls the medication a “band aid effect”. Grand mals were infrequent but focal seizures were frequent during age 11 to 18. For those of you that are not acquainted with focals, children can speak to you but can not answer questions that require recall such as phone numbers, where their mom or dad works etc. On other occasions these children will freeze like statues and must be gently guided to their bed, etc.

I make my statement with a point. Assisting two children let alone one born 22 months apart into some semblance of normalcy takes a toll on family dynamics, husband wife relationship, sibling relationships, and the family dynamics as a whole. Parents in this situation work hard to keep some family normalcy. It is hard work. We are just like any parent, merely wanting the best for our children. Like any parent we will go to the ends of the earth sacrificing our own needs to insure our children’s, and families needs are met.

My research shows that Moms with disabled kids experience less career growth, and tend to earn less money than parents without children with challenges because their children’s demands require extra effort, i.e. therapy appointments, i.e.p.s, and most important intensive ca-retaking demands. In a nutshell Mom cannot be in two places at once and selflessly chooses her children’s welfare over a fat paycheck and a BMW in the driveway. I love my family and would not have had it any other way!!!!!

To contribute financially when my children were young, I worked double shifts on weekends, overnight shifts, evenings during the week, resultant in small amounts of sleep in the evening so I could tend to my kids while my husband was working during the day. I know many woman have done the same thing to make sure their children were properly cared for. Thus, validating my research that woman with special needs kids earn less money.

As a Massachusetts resident this is confirmation to Mitt Romney that I was not a slacker.

Now that I have elucidated on the distinct issues that parents with special needs kids face daily, I will elaborate on my initial statement regarding Moms with older kids attempting to enter the career ladder and fulfill their long forgotten goals. As my children grew and stabilized, I decided to go back to college. This culminated in a bachelors degree in Psychology with a minor in sociology in 2005 cum laude. I continued towards my goal of an advanced degree. I completed that in late August 2009 with a 3.78 average. My thesis on education reform and school age programs cancan be found in book form on Amazon.com.

Entering the non profit arena has proved to be difficult. I specifically wish to work with special needs families. I always make it to the second interview to be number two or number three choice. The rationale is always that I did not have enough experience with special needs population. My rebuttal to the world is bold but I must make it.

Parents who bring up children with special needs possess a unique level of experience that would be an asset to any company. We have a unique reflective empathetic capacity born from walking down the path of others in our shoes. We do not get a paycheck for this work but it is work nonetheless. It is a job with no time clock – 24 hours a day. It is a job that does not receive much recognition, merely the ultimate goal of insuring that our children grow into the most independent functioning adults that they can.

Parents walk with your head up high knowing that you are selflessly performing the most difficult job in the world, assuring your child’s well being, and happiness.

To employers here are some of the qualifications I would put on a resume for parents of special needs kids. Although not monetarily compensated it is experience non the less. Never underestimate the power of a special needs parents background.

Experience:

Advocate – nurse -chauffeur – therapist – organizer – special needs advocate – cook who specializes in the palate of special needs children – mind reader and more

Special qualities :

Empathetic – reflective – doesn’t waver emotionally during a crisis – stays positive when life throws curve balls – responsible, altruistic and more

I have gone out on a limb writing an article so personal but I hope I speak for all parents who are not recognized for their unpaid experiences. My goal si to have this article reach as many people as possible on behalf of special needs parents. Education is power.

Special needs parents,you possess many skills, and some are learned through life experience, not merely within a paid job. I speak on all your behalf so you walk with your head up high and remember your fulfillment comes from within you, be proud, and never give up.

Mari N. , M.Ed., CECE

Posted on April 9, 2012 by David Berkowitz, Editor in Chief.

“And A Child Shall Lead” by Mari Nosal from Enabled Kids Canada

: “And A Child Shall Lead”

A fine article by Mari Nosal from Enable Kids Canada, link–>link

I was perusing my supervision journals from graduate school. My classes were inclusive and consisted of children with emotional disorders, learning disabilities, mood disorders, intellectually advanced children, and neurotypical children. The children ranged in age from five to twelve. In layman’s terms, these children were from every background and developmental level that one could imagine.

In hindsight, I realize that my practicum journals emphasized an important lesson. No matter what background or circumstance these children come from, it does not matter. When they are observed without adding labels, they are all children. I felt that some entries in my journal could reinforce the fact that every child has a talent if we look hard enough. I hope to share some select entries in the future. My intent is to remind family, educators, and the public at large that labels have no place in a classroom or society We can learn as much from children as they learn from adults.

This morning was rather amusing. Some children started an art project. They wished to make kites that we could fly outside while waiting for the arrival of the older children’s school bus. It was early, and only some children were present. A fly buzzed around the art table. The children expressed irritation at the fact that the fly would not extricate itself from the premises. I informed the children that flies were living creatures and had families just like us. I told the children that flies have a right to live. An interesting shift in our art project developed. The children started making a creation from scraps that were lying about. The kite idea was quickly forgotten. In its place was the early construction of a home for the fly family to live in.

I marveled at their creativity and yes, personal reflection of these children. They had considered my explanation of a fly being a living insect within our world. They reconsidered their initial observation that the fly was a mere nuisance. A solution was than decided upon. The fly family needed a home. The children who were the chief builders of the fly haven were five and six years old. Every item found in our scrap box was assessed for use as building material. It is amazing to watch a child find a use for an item an adult would deem as trash to be disposed of.

Three pieces of construction paper served as the floor. Toilet paper found by one child during a trip to the bathroom was set down in multiple layers. This would serve as a bed. Several more layers were cut to an appropriate size, stapled together and attached to the bed to serve as pillows. Construction paper was cut and rolled into a small cone. Upon taping it to the paper floor, a doily was eyed. After scrutinizing the value of this item, it was set on top of the cone to create a table. One child decided that their home would not be complete without a basketball hoop. A small paper rectangle was attached to the front of the house. The center of a paper doily was cut out to create a paper hoop. It was attached to the rectangle stem. Viola–a basketball hoop was created.

I sat and wondered at the creativity and teamwork involved in this piece of architecture. The children had spent well over an hour creating it. I decided I had been the observer long enough. I believe a child’s imagination must be encouraged. Nurturing a child’s imagination develops future adults who are capable of trouble shooting and resolving the world’s issues. If we control every minute of a child’s day, the end result is an adult who was never trained to think independently. I added food for thought. I inquired as to what the fly family would have to eat. The children pondered this for a moment. One child looked up and asked, “Well, what do flies eat anyway?”

My response was answered with a serious tone. I wished to show the children respect for their hard work by taking their questions seriously. My suggestion was to set out a bowl of sugar. The children were informed that baking soda would be used in lieu of sugar. It was all I could find in my arts and crafts stock. I reminded the children that we could pretend it was sugar as the coloring was the same. This prompted the construction of a paper bowl to hold the powdery contents. I suggested a sign be displayed with the children’s motto: “Flies have a right to live.” This was unanimously agreed upon. I wrote the words and the children decorated the sign. The masterpiece sits on the windowsill of my classroom.

I was reminded today how small statements adults make are noted by children. They are much more reflective than we give them credit for. When retrieving some children from the kindergarten class at the end of the day, word had evidently traveled. Children who had not been in my morning program were looking at the ceiling. The quickly said, “Miss Mari, a sad thing happened today”. Thinking a child had been injured I quickly asked to know the news. Several children had an expression on their face that was similar to an adult who had just heard of a death in the family.

My curiosity was soon satisfied. One child pointed to a fly on the ceiling. He was calling the fly Alvin. My guess is the choice of names came from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Evidently, there had been two flies earlier in the day. I was informed that Alvin’s brother Theodore had died. I told them I was sorry to hear of Theodore’s demise. What had started off as a simple imaginary house had turned into a school wide concern for living beings! These children taught me a lesson about life and children. As educators we must never assume that little bodies have little hearts. Today, I was reminded of just how empathetic and reflective my little guys can be.