Remind101 helps teachers communicate with students without fear (via Pando Daily)
By Nathaniel Mott On October 28, 2013There isn’t a good way for teachers to communicate with their young students without coming off as creepy. Seemingly every option, from calling or texting students’ cell phones to befriending them on social networks…
Boy diagnosed with autism has higher IQ than Einstein; thriving despite failure of public school system (via Natural Health Cures & Remedies)
(NaturalNews) When the experts told Kristine Barnett of Indiana that her two-year-old son would probably never be able to read or even tie his shoes due to his severe case of autism, the brave mother of three decided to take matters into her own hands. And as a result, she helped nurture the young…
KIDZ GEAR WINS 2013 LEARNING® MAGAZINE TEACHERS CHOICE AWARD
Wins for Excellence in Classroom Products
January 16, 2013, El Dorado Hills, CA — Kidz Gear www.GearForKidz.com, the award-winning Grown-up Performance, Built for Kids! brand, announced today that KidzControl Volume Limited Headphones for Kids has won the 2013 Learning Magazines Teachers Choice Award for Excellence in Classroom Products.
Learning Magazine recognized the Kidz Gear KidzControl Volume Limited Headphones for Kids as one of the most outstanding classroom recommended products of 2013 in the School Supplies Category. Kidz Gear won the award because it is a perfect tool for helping teachers in the multimedia educational process of all children. Compatible with audio devices that use a 3.5mm (1/8) audio jack, the Kidz Gear headphones work with MP3 players, iPads, iPods and even standard DVD and CD players all of which are playing a larger role in classrooms today.
The Choice for Teachers Nationwide with Kidz Gear Gear Up For Education! Purchase Program
We are honored to win the Teachers Choice Award for our KidzControl Volume Limited Headphones, said Jack Peterson, VP Sales and Marketing, Kidz Gear. Combined with our Gear Up For Education! Purchase Program, we have certainly become a new choice for teachers nationwide. Along with excellent teachers, children need good equipment and Kidz Gear is here with the goods!
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All Kidz Gear headphones feature the proprietary KidzControl Volume Limit Technology. The technology works by limiting the volume to approximately 80% of the maximum volume output capable from the audio devices in the market today. KidzControl Volume Limit Technology delivers a safe volume limited listening experience for children of all ages. Ergonomically designed with soft padded child-sized ear-cups and high-quality audio components, the KidzControl Volume Limited Headphones for Kids are value priced at only $19.99.
Kidz Gear is the Brand Adults Want and Kids Love
Kidz Gear headphones are not toys, but adult products built for kids. Manufactured with the same high-quality, high-performance consumer electronics components found in adult headphones, Kidz Gear headphones are designed to solve the never-ending battle between a childs desire for his or her parents things and the parents fear of them destroying an expensive item. KidzControl Volume Limited Headphones for Kids are available immediately, priced at $19.99, from U.S. retailers, such as Target and InMotion Airport Stores. They are also available directly at www.GearForKidz.com, Amazon.com and other fine online retailers.
About Learning Magazine Teachers Choice Awards
For 19 years, the Learning Magazine Teachers Choice Awards have heralded the very best in classroom-tested, teacher-recommended products. Each year, a nationwide panel of teacher-judges names the standouts in books, classroom supplies, educational games, websites, and moreeverything you need for your classroom. For more information, see: http://www.theeducationcenter.com/tec/afc/learning/lrn_tca_class_home/go.do
About Kidz Gear
Incorporated in 2001, San Ramon, California Supply and Beyond, LLC is the exclusive manufacturer of the Kidz Gear brand of products and accessories. The Kidz Gear brand was created by founder and mother Laurie Peterson with the purpose of developing a line of products and accessories with adult features, performance and quality but with ergonomic and economic sizes, styles and prices for children. The Kidz Gear product line has received rave reviews and awards from various Mothers Group Organizations and industry publications. The company is continually focused on bringing more products to market that support the companys mission Grown-Up Performance, Built for Kids!
For more information visit www.GearForKidz.com, email: greatproducts@gearforkidz.com or phone: (877) Kidz-Gear.
I am a huge fan of Mari Nosal and her writing. Here stories are very informative and inspirational and I really enjoy them.
Have you ever wondered how to encourage empathy, increase fine and gross motor skills, social awareness, independent thinking, teamwork, independent play, or anything in-between within a classroom or at home? I have compiled quite an array of activities throughout my years. The majority of my activities were used and intended for a multi-age classroom. The children I’ve taught range in age between five and twelve years and include those with emotional, physical, behavioral, gifted, neurotypical, and learning disabled circumstances. The activities are therefore acceptable for a mixed range of abilities and ages. I have pondered what I have learned through many years of trial and error. My goal is to share these activities with parents and educators to enhance the lives of other children who could benefit from my ideas.
1) Musical Paper Plates: This game is an adaptation of musical chairs. Musical paper plates is especially suitable for children who present gross motor skill issues. The chance of injury is diminished as children cannot fall on a chair when children are vying for the last coveted spot. Plates are strategically spread out in a circle. When the music stops, a plate is removed. For children who present with socialization issues and struggle with the concept of being “out”, leave all paper plates in the game. Thus, no one wins or loses. An adaptation I made for letter and number recognition is to write numbers or letters on the plates and keep everyone in the game. i.e. If a child lands on the letter A etc., I differentiate my question according to each child’s ability and ask questions such as, What is the name of your letter? What sound does your letter make? Can you name a word that begins with your letter? Can you spell the word ? My goal is to provide a game here that includes all children, no matter what their ability is, at their level, and without singling children out. I make the same adaptations with numbers. If the child steps on number five, I may ask them to stomp their feet five times, give them a math problem to solve, ask what number they are standing on, and more. The options within this game are limitless. The game then continues with no one left out of the game. This game has proved to be extremely popular with the children.
2) Enhance Thinking Skills: One child sits in the middle of a circle and mimes emotions. The child who guesses the emotion goes in the middle and the game continues. This game is an awesome springboard for discussing feelings and reinforcing social awareness. An adaptation is to pick moral oriented situations out of a bowl, and having children act them out.
3) Share a Book: This is a voluntary activity that proved popular with the children. Rather than reading for the children, ask for volunteers who would like to read during circle time. This enhances reading skills, positive self efficacy, and teamwork. I adapt this activity so all children can participate no matter what their abilities or age. If a child volunteers to read to the class, but is an early or none reader, they are allowed to choose another child to assist them. I wish to emphasize that no child should ever be forced to read if they do not wish to. Forcing a child with a developmental challenge, reading issues, speech problems, etc. to participate can backfire. The child will lose self esteem, become embarrassed in front of peers, and withdraw. I still recall being an advanced reader in elementary school. I also suffered from “watery S’s.” My second grade teacher would force me to display my reading skills in-front of the class. It was humiliating and still resides in my memory today. After the fact, I recall pretending I struggled in reading so the teacher would stop choosing me. Some children will participate in the future if they are not forced and are allowed time to feel safe within the group.
4) Don’t Squish the Bug: This game can be played in a group, modified for two individuals, played one on one, or done just plain solo according to the child’s skills and social development. This game is great for increasing hand-eye coordination. The children fill balloons with jello and enjoy a game of catch, or adapted catch as mentioned above. It is suggested that this game be played outdoors. It is fun. However, when the balloon inevitably breaks – jello, jello everywhere. :-0)
I hope you enjoy my ideas. I would love feedback. If there is enough interest I will continue with weekly or bi – weekly curriculum ideas. Happy teaching and parenting.
Mari Nosal M.Ed.
I recently received this nice article in my inbox from Connie Hammer from the Autism Newsletter from www.AutismTeachingTools.net & www.AutismResourceCenterofSouthFlorida.com
It is quite a nice resource and worth reading–>
Eleven Back to School Strategies to Reduce School Anxiety for Children with Autism
By Connie Hammer
Transitions are very difficult for most children on the autism spectrum to make and going back to school may be the most challenging one there is. Preparing a child for change can be time consuming and emotionally draining for any family. We all hope for a stress free and easy shift into a new school routine but don’t always get what we want. If despite all your preparation the new school year did not get off to a good start, don’t despair because it is never too late to turn things around. All parents want things to go smoothly and when they don’t it is all too easy to place blame on yourself. But wait!Eleven Back to School Strategies to Reduce School Anxiety for Children with Autism
By Connie Hammer
Before jumping to conclusions that you did something wrong or that your child will never settle into a peaceful back to school routine let’s approach this from a different perspective. When an airplane pilot develops problems flying an aircraft or a sea captain experiences difficulty with his ship the trouble could stem from a number of things. Most likely both of these skilled professionals will run through a checklist to assess the situation and determine the cause. The first step towards solving any dilemma is assessment and a checklist is a great way to examine most potentially problematic situations.Having a checklist also helps one tackle a challenge with more confidence and less stress.
Depending on the qualities that make your child unique and where he or she falls on the autism spectrum, your back to school experience will differ from every other parent. If you are experiencing turbulence or rough seas in your household as you try to settle into a stress free back to school routine here is a checklist for you to refer to that may help you identify some adjustments that will make for a smoother transition.
___ Are you paying attention to your child’s sleep patterns and bedtime routine?
If you weren’t able to address changes in daily routines, such as bedtime, well enough in advance this could be the cause of any stress related behaviors that might be occurring. One cannot stress the importance of sleep and its impact on brain development, mood and attention span which many studies support. In addition to helping your child be more successful at school, making sure she receives the required amount of sleep will also improve her behavior at home.___ Are you using a back to school calendar?
If not, consider creating a special back-to-school calendar. Depending on your child’s interest in arts and crafts, this can be a fun process that the two of you can do together. You may want to use words or pictures to indicate what will happen on each day of the week, if you need more room and can’t find a calendar big enough, such as a wall calendar, make a book that has a page or two or for every day of the week. Reading the book or looking at the calendar can you’re your child transition better from day to day.___ Have you used other school related resources to your advantage?
If you have any books or movies about school this would be a good time to read or watch them repeatedly. If your supply of school related resources is scarce consider a trip to the bookstore to purchase a new book or the more economical option of the public library which allows you to take home more than one book or video. One can always find books about going back to school.___ Have you been talking about school in a positive manner?
When talking about school with your child on the autism spectrum, it is always important to set up a positive attitude for the upcoming school year before and after it begins. Talking to them in the affirmative regarding teachers, friends and schoolwork will help them maintain a positive perspective and relieve any anxieties that might exist. If despite your positive attitude, your child is not enthused about the school year, focus on activities and events they find interesting, such as sports, arts, clubs, field trips, etc. If you really need to dig deep try to find something positive to say about what will happen after school.___ Did you and your child have a private meeting with the teacher?
If your child is exceptionally anxious about the start of a new school year and the changes that are involved, making a fifteen to twenty minute appointment to talk to the new teacher before or after school might help. The opportunity to have a private audience with the teacher to go over schedules and expectations as well as the chance to ask questions without other students around can give any child a gigantic jump start and sense of relief.___ Have you reviewed previous school years by looking at pictures?
If you don’t have any pictures, start taking them now or if your school has a yearbook, make sure to purchase one when it is published. If using your own pictures consider putting them in a scrapbook this year, which may be fun to create together. Next year you can take the yearbook or scrapbook out at this time and look through it together, it can be a useful transition tool for returning to school the following year.___ Have you held a family meeting about school?
In addition to talking about school to your child individually, it’s great to hold a family meeting so that everyone gets a chance to share their thoughts and feelings as well as discuss and plan for the week ahead. Meeting as a group sends the message that you are all in this together and that you care about each individual’s experience. If you have never held a family meeting before, this is good time to start.___ Have you and your child met with the school bus driver?
If taking the bus, it can be very beneficial for you to meet with the bus driver and provide him or her with helpful information about your child. A school bus is a very sensory stimulating environment – bus fumes, noise, temperatures, stops and starts, etc. – not to mention an atmosphere that could be socially intimidating to your children with autism. You may even want to consider creating a driver tip sheet, especially if you suspect the bus ride is causing high-anxiety or sensory overload for your child. A tip sheet might include important information about your child and how best to communicate with him, simple strategies that work, tactics to avoid, seating preference or activities that will maintain his interest.___ Have you addressed screen machine use?
If you have allowed TV viewing, video games and computer use privileges to increase over the summer and haven’t had a chance to cut back yet, begin now. Technology is important and useful but must be balanced with other activities that create an atmosphere where the brain is encouraged and allowed to think for itself. Quiet time for reading, homework and social interaction is vitally important for helping your child be successful in school. Once you adjust TV, video and computer use rules it is important to communicate them clearly and stick to them.___ Are you encouraging social interactions for your child?
A child on the autism spectrum often struggles with making and keeping friends, which is an important component in creating a positive school experience. If possible, invite old or new classmates that may have moved into the school system and invite them over so your child can get to know them better and practice her social graces. It can help your child immensely if you rehearse back to school conversation starters and group social skills with them to use with their friends, teachers and other adults.___ Are you communicating clearly with your child?
It is important to remember that all the preparation, planning and practice in the world won’t get you to where you want to be if you aren’t communicating effectively with your child – verbally and non-verbally. It is important to know what works best to effectively communicate with your child. Does your autistic child communicate best with words, or visuals and how can you tell when your message has been received and you have made a good connection?Before you think about making changes to your back to school schedule, take the time to review this checklist and note what comes to mind. Be open and honest in assessing your current routine and then choose a few things to work on as you tweak your original approach. In order to create a more productive and enjoyable back to school routine for you and your child, make changes gradually and keep track of what works and what doesn’t. Before you know it, you and your child will be experiencing a stress free school routine.
Imagine less worries and less concerns as a parent with a child on the Autism spectrum… and more happiness and joyful times as a family. That’s what you get when have the support of Connie Hammer, expert parent educator and coach. For more than twenty years, this licensed social worker has worked with families to uncover abilities and nurture family opportunities that bring more love, more fun and more contentment, regardless of disability, into their lives.
About Connie Hammer. For more than twenty years, this licensed social worker has worked with parents to uncover abilities and change family possibilities that bring more love, fun and contentment, regardless of disability, into their lives. To find out more about this internationally published expert and get your FREE resources – a parenting ecourse, Parenting a Child with Autism – 3 Secrets to Thrive and a weekly parenting tip newsletter, The Spectrum, – visit her website www.parentcoachingforautism.com.
This is an interesting article with regards to social skills for children on the autism spectrum recently published by Mari Nosal. I wish that there were more program for autism when I was growing up, the problem is that if you do very well academically the system ignored difficulties with athletics and social skills to a large degree when I was in School in the 1980’s.
Here is the fine article–>
1) Set aside a table in the corner of the room. Make sure ample space is provided in proximity to other activities. In doing so, the child on the autism spectrum will not feel crowded or feel as though their personal space is being intruded upon.This should be left out as a long-term project and can be used to encourage non threatening solitary play during times when the child is anxious and needs space. It can also be used to gradually encourage participation in a group project, even if the child is parallel playing.Place a puzzle, snap together model, or construction project on the table. Children on the spectrum are often attracted to items like these. They are great as they can be done in groups or as a solitary activity.Children on the Spectrum will generally allow a trusted adult to assist with the project. On the first day allow the child to work on the task alone and get comfortable with surroundings. On the second day ask if you can participate in the project.Other children will inevitably wander over out of curiosity and ask to join in. When the child is engrossed in the project let him/her know that you need to step away for a moment. Make your absence short, no more than a couple of minutes. Each day lengthen the time that you step back from the group by a couple of minutes.This can be successfully orchestrated in a one on one card game as well. Play cards one on one with the child. As other children become curious and ask to join the game hand your cards to one child and step aside for a few minutes using procedures already mentioned.If this is done slowly over a week or so you should be able to start coaching versus being involved in what will have become a group project at this point. Intervening will be done at this point only during the presence of behaviors or peer difficulties.
Tabletop long-term projects can also be used to redirect a child to a solitary activity when the signs of over-stimulation appear.
2) When it is group cleanup time in the classroom, children on the spectrum can get anxious, and overstimulated if too many children are in close proximity to them. Using an example of putting wooden blocks away, discreetly place some blocks a few feet away from the other children who are cleaning up. Again, this will assist the autistic child in feeling non – threatened.Ask the child to please put the blocks away in the bin. He/she will generally comply dropping the blocks in the bin quickly and walking away. As time goes on move the blacks slightly closer to the other children during clean up time. As the child is introduced to this concept slowly and over a period of time they will generally feel comfortable after a week or two.These ideas can be adapted to group play at home as well. Invite a maximum of two or three children over as more will overwhelm a child with social, emotional, and sensory issues. Initially, sit with the children and encourage group play with a play dough kit, race track, etc. slowly excuse yourself from the activity for several minutes. Gradually extend your time without intervening in group play. Your goal will be to become a coach observing from afar, only intervening when difficulties regarding the social situation arise. This is an extremely slow process the can literally take a month or more to accomplish.
These socialization tips can be quite successful, but the child must not be pushed before they are ready. The ingredients to success are a safe non threatening environment, patience, and praise.
Mari Nosal, M.Ed., CECE
I love music, and see its’ value in both the education of so called normal children and adults and those on the autism spectrum. We are started our nonprofit to help autism education via technology, music and the arts. If we can get sponsors, donors, and help, as well as exposure like on Ellen’s Show, we would help fund music in schools especially those that can not afford it themselves, we would also encourage inclusion of those with autism. That is what we are trying to, it is really simple actually.
Here is a video that my Daughter’s elementary school choice performed here in Las Vegas on the 2nd of May 2012.
Here is another fine article from Mari Nosal with regards to after school activities–>
Today I planned to execute a creative learning lesson for my school age program. (Fun after school time) Lessons must be learned. Lessons must be executed in a fun way. My students spend all day in school sitting at a desk learning academics. My role is to present a constructive learning format. One stipulation is that a high fun factor is present. This task can be formidable to say the least. How can a lesson in science be hidden in play? How can theories of magnetism or math be taught in a form that gifts the children with new information, but does not threaten student burnout? This is a challenge I am worthy of accepting.
I presented a lesson on soap sculptures. The children believed they were experiencing a mere arts and craft project. The hidden content was learned. The craft was fun but structured. Harmless melted soap chips turned into a math lesson, science lesson, and exuded a large curiosity factor. With out curiosity the children would rebel my efforts to implement this lesson. Solid soap chips of varied colors were melted together into a soppy mix. Before hand, the weight of the soap slivers was examined. My young charges placed a small mountain of soap on a scale. The weight was recorded. The soap was prepared for liquefying in the microwave.
Before transforming the soap into a liquid form we examined the solid consistency. I placed the slivers in the microwave. When the soap was removed, we compared the liquid form to it’s solid past. We talked about temperature changes. We poured the soapy liquid into measuring cups. A lesson in weighing liquid versus solid masses was learned. What had weighed 5 ounces in solid form had been transformed into liquid measurement. The children were in awe of the fact that microwaves could alter the composition of the mass.
We than proceeded to pour the liquid soap into molds intended for use in our play dough projects. The amount of ounces needed for various molds was measured and noted. The soap was set aside and transformed into a solid mass. Upon observing our finished project, we weighed our creations. Children estimated beforehand what the weights would be upon the soaps return to a solid form. They were shocked that the creations weights were now varied. I explained that we had used various size molds to complete this project. This obviously affected the weight. A lesson was learned. The children left my classroom with a prize (their soap), and a new idea to ponder. Objects in our world can be manipulated and structurally changed. Much like the children’s young sponge like minds.
One child looked concerned and lost in thought. I asked what the problem might be. My five-year old charge asked if he could turn into something else like the soap did. I responded by stating that his body was not capable of melting like soap. He is made of skin and bones, which hold him together. (Simplified for the child’s purpose). I told him that the only change his body would ever make is to get larger, stronger, and smarter. An Aha moment has occurred. Perhaps one lesson will overlap into another based on these questions. Perhaps I shall have a lesson on the human body. Stay tuned for updates.
Mari N.
I ran into Mari Nosal recently on twitter she is the amazing writer of several articles on autism education from Enable Kids from disabled to Enabled,http://enabledkids.ca/?p=2071
A bit about the author–>
About the author
Mari Nosal has written 12 articles for Enabled Kids.
Mari Nosal, M.Ed., CECE is a school coordinator, blogger and author. She is certified by the Department of Early Childhood Education as a lead preschool teacher, an infant and toddler teacher, and site coordinator qualified to manage school age programs. She is certified in Community Crisis Intervention by the Community Crisis Intervention Team of Bristol County. As a parent of a son with Asperger’s, she and her son show others how it is possible to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
Ten Commandments for Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum
1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.
My disability does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.
2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me.
I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.
3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth.
Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.
4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.
I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.
5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.
I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.
6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.
Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.
7. Thou shall not compare me to others.
Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.
8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.
Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grownups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.
9. Thou shall give me choices.
I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.
10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.
I am an individual, just like other children. As my son used to say, “Mom my name is John (name changed for his anonymity) not Asperger’s”. A profound statement I would say. :-0)
Part Two: Ten Commandments of Parents with Kids on the Autism Spectrum
1) Thou shall not avoid my family when you see us in a public place. Autism is not a communicable disease. It is merely a way of life. You will not catch it by being my friend. Hang out with me and my family and learn about us. Once you understand our challenges it will be self-evident that we have hopes, dreams, and feelings. We love our children just as much as you love yours. Who knows, you might grow to accept us if you give us a chance.
2) Thou shall not judge my family. If my child is having a meltdown and seems inconsolable, do not assume I am an incompetent parent. You cannot always judge a book by its cover. Do not tell me that my child is spoiled. Ask me why I cannot control him, or tell me that my child needs to be punished. He is already punished enough by remarks from people who assume they know what is best for my family, even when they do not even know us. I am attempting to be a good parent. Your negative remarks hurt me greatly. Your positive remarks give me the internal strength to go on, and rejuvenate my belief in me and my child.
3) Thou shall be patient. My child may have a large expressive vocabulary. This is rote knowledge that has been memorized. In this case, he may not process (receptive language) what others say unless it is presented in a literal, concise, and direct manner. My child may lack a large vocabulary (expressive vocabulary) but make no mistake that he can comprehend you through his receptive vocabulary. Get to know my child and convey messages through his learning style. You will be surprised at what a wonderful child he is if you get to know him.
4) Thou shall not snub my other children. It is difficult for neurotypical siblings to grow up with a sibling that has special needs. My heart breaks for my children when other children decline sleepovers, parties, and more because of my special needs child. Providing equal attention to all my children is quite the balancing act.. Their learning disabled sibling occasionally requires more time and energy then them. This is not by choice but necessity. Please make a point to help out and make my other children feel welcome at your home or functions.
5) Thou shall not judge my housekeeping skills. My house may occasionally be in disarray. That mess is a sign of love; a sign of a family that has placed priorities on going to therapy appointments, doctors, social groups, and more over the importance of several dust balls. We balance jobs, carpools, and daycare, just like the rest of society as well.
6) Thou shall believe in my child. Do not call my child stupid, lazy, spoiled, selectively deaf, a brat, and more. My child has a neurological impairment which can affect processing skills, focusing, expressive or receptive speech, and internal control mechanisms, i.e. “losing it”. There is an old phrase, “We become what we hear.” The self-fulfillment prophecy is alive and well. My child tries hard to learn, control his behavior, socialize, etc. Please attempt to tell him what is right with him, not only what is wrong. Role model appropriate behavior for the child. Children become what children see.
7) Thou shall accept me and my family for who we are. My child may not appear to have challenges on the exterior. Appearances can be deceiving. I can equate this with a cast. If an individual is wearing a cast, we know they have a broken arm. Children with autism often appear the same as all other children When you deal with my child, please remember that his emotional age is roughly four years behind his chronological age. Keep that in mind when creating expectations for him. My child cannot be fixed.. He can be smothered with acceptance. His Asperger’s has created the young man that we have grown to love and admire. We would not change him for anything. He and I both needs society’s acceptance.
8) Thou shall not assume my child is being defiant. My child’s difficulties with receptive language can mimic defiance. When directions are not broken down into literal simple steps, he may appear to be ignoring you. He is not being defiant. He did not understand your directions. Tell him to pick up the books in the classroom, put them on the bookshelf, than sit down. This will most often result in compliance. Do not just say “put the books away”. He most likely will not know which books, where, when, or how. Be patient, as he really wants to please you.
9) Thou shall tell parents of autistic kids what they do well:.We struggle with our child’s special needs, attempt to carve out time with our other children so they do not feel left out, carve out time for our spouse, attempt to create a copacetic environment for our families, love and accept unconditionally, and more. We parents are occasionally insecure regarding our parenting skills. We are not immune to the glaring disapproving eyes, and mumbles of disapproval regarding our parenting style of our special needs kids. We need support and understanding from you as we feel helpless when we cannot help our child during a meltdown, etc. Please tell us what we do right occasionally and offer to lend a hand. It means the world to a parent of a special needs child to receive a compliment regarding them or their child when the parent feels like giving up hope.
10) Last but not least, thou shall remember that we are all on this earth to make a contribution to society. Children on the spectrum make contributions as well. You just have to look a little deeper. For me, my son has taught me to be more patient, humbled me, taught me to look at what is good now and not worry about what may not happen ten years down the road. I do not take things for granted because of my experiences. My husband and I learned the meaning of teamwork. Most of all, my son has taught me to never underestimate what strides he will make in our world. It may be on his timeframe and not mine. We are climbing to the peak of the mountain, with occasional slips, but climbing higher every day none the less.
Part Three: Ten Commandments For Educators Who Teach Kids on the Autism Spectrum
1) Thou shall not perceive me as a diagnosis. It is not true that once you have worked with an autistic child, you have worked with them all. There are many different degrees of autism–hence the meaning of the term, “Autism Spectrum.” We have distinct personalities and talents, just like you. We may present ourselves as nonverbal, verbal, have advanced expressive vocabularies, receptive vocabularies, be aggressive, shy, funny, or ambulatory. We may have mobility issues, be extremely social or shy, or have gifted IQs, or low IQs. Spend time getting to know me. You may learn to appreciate my talents, and the contributions that I can make within the classroom and to my classmates.
2) Thou shall not assume that I am defiant. :-0) My ears are extremely sensitive. If I am sitting at my desk and you give me directives from the other side of the classroom, I may not hear you correctly. I have difficulty desensitizing myself from sounds. I may be struggling with attempting to block out the whirring of a pencil sharpener, ticking clock, rain beating on the window pane, and the humming of the fluorescent lights. They often hurt my ears and create one jumbled sound. The sound may be so intrusive to my sensitive ears that they hurt. If you want to give me directions, please walk over to me and look me in the eye to get my attention. Be specific and concise when conveying what you wish for me to accomplish. I am a concrete thinker. For instance, ask me to get my coat from the coatroom, than go back to my desk and sit down, and wait to be excused for recess. Do not merely say, get ready for recess. This is too obscure. I want to please you, I really do, but you need to help me out with this.
3) Thou shall help me learn to socialize with my peers. I may appear to be avoiding my classmates. This does not mean I do not want to socialize. Children on the spectrum want friends and need to be included just like anyone else. My issue is that I often do not know how. Perhaps you could encourage the other children to include me in their games. You could role model proper techniques for social interaction, how to read body language, and empathize. For instance, if my classmate has a bellyache, you could point out that his tummy hurts and that maybe I should tell him I hope he feels better soon.
4) Thou shall catch me being good. Please make an attempt to point out my positive behavior, actions, and character traits. If I only hear about what is wrong with me, I will feel as though I am unworthy and withdraw. If I merely get attention from you when I am in the midst of a meltdown, or presenting inappropriate behavior, I may become conditioned to misbehave so I can gain your attention. This is the self fulfilling prophecy at work. Give me positive attention through praise, and you will build my positive self-efficacy. Help me believe in myself. If all I receive is negative attention, I will still crave it. Remember: in this case, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
5) Thou shall not attempt to embarrass me. Please do not compare me to siblings who were in your class. Do not compare me to classmates, embarrass me, or mimic me if I am frustrated. That hurts my feelings, and leaves me feeling more frustrated. I work twice as hard as my neurotypical peers to perform academically and socially. Embarrassing me will not force me to “straighten out’. That will merely force me to withdraw further within the academic environment, because I feel as though I cannot measure up to your expectations of me. Please try to remember that my emotional age is behind my chronological age. Please treat the behavior, not the child. I depend on you for external control.
6) Thou shall practice reflective observation and remediation. If I become distracted, hyperactive, speak out of turn, or agitated, please attempt to find out why I am doing so. It is easier to prevent a behavioral issue than to try and remediate it afterwards. If you notice the early warning signs, you may be able to make adaptations to prevent escalation. Once my behavior has gotten out of hand it will be difficult to assist me with getting back on task. Simple techniques may work. If I am having difficulty focusing, seem agitated, or become socially inappropriate, the bright fluorescent lights may be hurting my eyes. Please remember that my five senses are hypersensitive and I can become over-stimulated by everyday sights, smells, and sounds. Perhaps, dimming the lights in the room may calm me down. If I appear hyperactive, perhaps you could find a job for me to do in the classroom. The job could be as simple as making me a helper and asking me to hand out paper, or art supplies to the other children, pass out homework etc. so I can stretch my legs without being singled out in front of my classmates. If I am distracted by the other children while expected to take a test, perhaps you will allow me to wear earplugs to squelch my hypersensitivity to noise. I know I can be a lot of work at times, especially in a inclusive classroom. It is worth your effort, I assure you. It is a win-win situation for me and my classmates. They will learn to accept and respect differences in people through their interactions with me. They will carry this empathy into adulthood and the workplace. In turn, I will learn appropriate social skills through observation of my neurotypical classmates. With your assistance, the other children will learn to note and appreciate my talents and contributions within the classroom. I will learn how to be a member of a group who appreciates me. This in turn will boost my positive self-efficacy.
7) Thou shall not attempt to fix me. I cannot be fixed. I am not the equivalent of a broken engine in your automobile that merely needs some adjustments here and there to run like new. Besides, my mom and dad say they like me just the way I am. Respect me for the gifts and talents that I bring into your classroom (and I have many!). You can help me by teaching me compensatory strategies. For instance, teach me to go to a quiet area in the class to read, or to play quietly when I am over-stimulated. At first, I may need many verbal or physical prompts from you to recognize the signs of over-stimulation. As time goes by, I will internalize this mode of redirection through repetition and go to my quiet places independently. Remember to praise me verbally, or with a reward when I do so. I need to know that you noticed–it makes me feel proud of myself. For example, I may love to write but have issues with my pincer grip. Holding a pencil makes my hand hurt. Perhaps you could put a gripper on my pencil to increase my grasp and initiative to write so I do not go on strike during lessons.
8. Thou shall not say negative things about me. Please do not speak poorly of me to other teachers, parents, or students. My feelings get hurt when I observe you telling other individuals that I am a handful, that I take away time from the other students, shouldn’t be in your class, or push your buttons. Please do not refer to me as a bad seed, “that” one, a hateful child, unlikable, lazy, or defiant. This is unprofessional and inappropriate, especially when you talk while I am in the room. If you speak negatively of me and I misbehave, I am following your negative expectations of me, and living up to them. I may learn differently, but I can hear and comprehend your unkind conversations. I am not a diagnosis; I am a child like all the other children in my class. Please remember, I am dependent on you to help me hone my skills and succeed in life. I need your support.
9) Thou shall differentiate instruction. Differentiated instruction does not mean giving me different assignments or dumbed down assignments. Differentiated instruction is done by making accommodations so I can be included in the same projects and assignments as my classmates. If we are using shaving cream paint during art class, I may not want to put my hands in it due to sensitivity to textures. Perhaps you could offer me a tongue depressor to put the shaving cream on. This way, I can do the same art project as my peers while taking my sensitivity to textures into account. If we are doing a group history project on the colonial era, you may take advantage of my visual perception. I may not read well, but may be capable of building a scale model of a fort. Thus other children could research and present a report and I could provide the props. Perhaps you could allow me to take a spelling test which contains the same words as the other children orally if I have difficulty with handwriting. If we are presenting a play, the loud music and crowd may bother me. Perhaps I could change props, or be in charge of opening and closing the curtains during the performance instead.
10) Thou shall perceive as a human being. Please remember that every child has both positive and negative traits. Attempt to teach me what mine is are. Your investment in me will pay off in the future. Who knows, with a little help from my teacher, I could grow up to be the next leader of our country. I believe in you, will you believe in me?
I especially love her quote–>”Please join me in my utopian world where society perceives individuals as a whole, and does not judge them merely in character segments.”
I would like to thank Mari for allowing us to publish her information here on our news and autism site.
If everyone would just live by them.
Here is a video from a nice young man with autism that has a great ability to sing–>
Please check it out and share it with others.
